Absolution
by Stonecreek
Summary: Malachite will never be found. Lapis has made sure of this.


**A.N. –** This is my first (published) foray into writing for the Steven Universe fandom, though I'm a voracious reader in it (mostly on AO3). I love this show to pieces and the hiatus was gnawing at me, and this came about. Careful reading should make the end clear. I don't own SU; Rebecca Sugar has that honor.

 **Absolution**

They were still looking for Malachite, Lapis knew, but Malachite would never be found.

Malachite would never exist again.

Jasper's shards lay on the sea floor with the rest of the dead detritus of the ocean. Light did not penetrate down to that depth, where life barely existed. The remnants of the Homeworld Gem might have been the most reflective things around, but that was of no use in their final resting place. Lapis had made sure of that.

Lapis emerged from the sea, weary and haggard, into a lush tropical paradise. Mirrored eyes drank in the surroundings.

Sand crunched underfoot and the cacophony of life in the nearby jungle was overwhelming after an interminable time in the silence of the deep. Still, Lapis moved forward, seeking out the bustle of the living if only to remind herself that she was a part of it again.

Beach gave way to foliage gave way to thick undergrowth, and the heat and humidity were stifling. Lapis' bare feet were dyed green and brown as she trudged on. The pull of her natural element led her, but to the waves she could not return – not so soon. Lapis met no resistance from the local wildlife on her trek through their habitat. The aura of apex predator clung around her visage still after what had taken place beneath the waves.

A distant roar reached blue ears as the ground became rocky and sloped. The moisture, already cloying, became palpable beneath Lapis' worn soles. She brushed aside a bevy of ferns and was met with a small waterfall, no higher than Malachite once had been. Lapis sighed and worked to suppress the shared memories the name conjured up, but it wasn't working.

Not even parting the waters of the pool the falls emptied into, Lapis strode across its surface. The ethereal spray stung her face, a welcome little pain after the horrors of her previous existence. The noise was all-consuming this close, and Lapis craned her neck up to see the cascade fall from the source. It glimmered spectacularly in the midday sun.

The pool was churned into froth and eddies where the falls met the water's surface, and it was at this spot that Lapis sat. Legs crossed under, arms hugging tightly around bare torso, Lapis remained perfectly in place, not letting the raw power dislodge her. Instead, she tried to let go of all that had consumed her.

The pressure of all the water pouring down onto her head was so similar to being nearly flattened in the ocean's depths. But this burden was taken on willingly.

The completely-enveloping thunder of the waterfall was vividly reminiscent of Jasper's presence in her mind while fused – all brash white noise with no bounds. But this noise was taken in on purpose.

The soak of the tonnes of liquid permeating Lapis' very being seeped in like the disassociation of self did, when she'd been merely a component of Malachite. Lapis almost came to despite her natural affinity after being trapped for so long in such a state. But now, this water, so warm after the frigid depths, was a boon to her being.

Lapis knew nothing of the monks on Earth who meditated under waterfalls, seeking inner peace or to connect with the divine. In this moment, she only knew what felt right and secure. And, despite her best efforts, even properly reconnecting with her element felt off.

She might be free of Malachite, but Lapis still felt imprisoned.

So she sat, unflinching and uncaring, under the thrum of the waterfall. Slowly, her mind grew hazy. Tiger-striped orange shards shimmered behind Lapis' closed eyes, taunting – was she really in any better shape than her former captor?

Lapis felt more than heard the moment the crack in her gem became a fissure. The ever-present water had done its work well. Her form quaked, losing stability until Lapis resembled one of her water clones. A larger rend echoed though her growing emptiness, and then corporeality was no more.

Lapis Lazuli fragments plinked into pristinely clear water and settled on the white sand below. The sunlight caught them, casting a blue tinge up into the mist escaping from the base of the waterfall.

Evanescent, the wayward Gem found her way home.


End file.
